Thanks everyone.

I have come to the financial conclusion that I will not be going to England to see my grandma.  I have the airmiles for the flight, and we have figured out a way to get the rest of the money for taxes and surcharges and such (around $500), but it will be putting a strain on us here.  Also, I can only rely on the family there for so much and will need some type of spending money. So, I have talked to the family and they are going to set up a web cam for all of us here to be there virtually when the time comes (at the funeral).  It is not quite the same, but realistically this has to be the way it is.

I really appreciate all the comments yesterday.  I really did not feel like posting anything until I found out more.  I spent a good chunk of time on the phone and contemplating what would be the best to do.

My DH is also leaving for out of town here on Thursday and I am scheduled to work on Friday morning not Monday here as I thought.  I have phoned work and they said it would be no problem but there are also the animals at this pt too.  My sister can stay here and my son would be at my mom's, but the financial responsibilities that are looming for the rest of the month can not be ignored.  So, I have thought long and hard about it and have decided this is the best thing for me to do with everything else going on here.  The biggest reason that it is not in my best interest right now to go is that I am in the middle of getting a job for the summer and building a financial nest egg for if and when my husband goes to depot for training for about 6 months.  There are many things to do around the house also for fixing and repairing if we have to sell it.  My son also has a camp with the school that I also have to pay for.

I know my grandma would be happy on why I could not come to say good bye to her and she would understand.  I guess I am just not meant to go to funerals... almost everyone that has come along in my family, something has happened that I could not go.  I was once stranded on the highway with my old truck broken down in -40 weather dressed in black nice funeral attire.  That was for my grampa, who was like my dad.  The hardest ever that I had to go through.  

For all who may have been a little confused on wether my grandma was a great grandma, she was my great grandma.  I was raised like my mom and her siblings as my brother and sisters, and my Nanny (grandma) as my mom, and my great grandma as my grandma.  This is because my mother was a single parent and I spent a good chunk of my younger life with my grand parents.  I have always been treated this way also.  My half-sisters that came about after my mom was married, never experienced the closeness that I have with the other generations.

Well, after eating my wt in food here the last bit, I am trying to get myself out the door here for a long run.  I figure 18k should give me some good alone thinking time away from the house also.  My father-in-law is going to take us out for Dim Sum after I get back.

She still is hanging on and my family that are going have now decided that they are for sure going when she passes.  I will be fine and I have come to terms with my decision and know that this is for the best.  I will have her in my memories.  I do have to share one small story about this British lady though.  We were once camping and my two sisters (at the time were about 2 and 5 yrs of age and my one sister told my youngest one to stop chewing like a cow.  Well that was it!  My grandma flipped.  It was then that I learned that calling someone a cow is a HUGE insult in England.  We still laugh about this today, especially the now 26 yr old (was 5 then). :)

I am lucky to have our five generation photo and that my son was able to meet her a good many times.  I will miss her 1 tbsp of whiskey in her bedtime tea every night and her constant supply of pond's cream which is the only thing she would wash her face with.  These were her fountains of youth.  I will add here that she would be turning 100 this year, went out traveling until the last 6 yrs, bowling and dancing until the last 4, and had the best and smoothest skin on her face ever. :)  

I am ok with this.

She has just passed away.


Froggie-George said...


Sorry to hear that you won't be able to make the trip but you're have the best memories :) I'm not a big funeral fan myself. I'd rather remember them as they were instead of going to see them and not being there at all. When I was in high school, my favorite gramma was in the hospital dying when they called the family in as they had put her on life support. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done and had nightmares about it for about a year after. She just wasn't the same and was a huge stress on the family. I made the decision then that I wouldn't go anymore. When my papa passed away a year or so ago...I didn't get there at the end but had seen him a month earlier when he was in great spirits (he had broken his hip golfing at 92 then caught an infection in the hospital) He died three days after his 93 bday in his home. I spent three days there for a wake with the family and the memories and I wouldn't trade that time for anything.

So in saying all that....I feel for you and am sending hugs your way.

Melanie said...

tough decision to make, but you're right, it's the best one... and sorry to hear that she passed :( take care. Mel

Tanya said...

I just saw your grandma passed away, I am so sorry. I am sending you big hugs, you will be in my thoughts. If there is anything I can do please let me know. Again I am really sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear that you couldn't make it, but it sounds like you've made the right decision. You are absolutely right, you will always have good memories. That is the most important. I know it is still hard. Your in my thoughts. Enjoy your run and use it to destress. Take care. (((Big Hugs)))